It would be a bit of an understatement to say that things haven't been easy this year. One glance at social media or the news is more than enough to remind us all of the difficulties around right now even if you've managed to escape the worst of it all personally. But that doesn't mean that things are all doom and gloom. As is often the case in a crisis there are many people coming forward to help friends, neighbours, strangers in all sorts of ways and that can be a real source of joy for everyone involved. Even hearing of others kindness can lift our spirits. And deliberately looking for that which is good can help us all to be more resilient whatever challenges we're facing. But this can take a bit of practice because to do so means going against our natural instincts.
I'm sure you've had one of those days where everything has been pretty good. Maybe you've had a successful day in work or enjoyed some time catching up with friends. And then something happens to change it. Maybe someone makes a rude remark or another driver cuts you up at a junction (and stares at you as though you're in the wrong). It may be that you witness something that makes you feel angry or sad. Suddenly all that was good and enjoyable from the day are forgotten. Not only do those negative experiences outweigh the positive, but we tend to remember them much longer too.
This is our negativity bias at work. It's not a fault. In fact it's perfectly normal and may even be part of our success as a species. After all, noticing an approaching threat is rather important if we are to survive. But it can become overwhelming, particularly in difficult times, if we don't make efforts to find a balance.
Luckily finding a balance is as simple as looking for the good in every day. It could be ..
a good coffee ...
a compliment...
a funny cat video ...
a beautiful sunset ...
a job well done ...
a quiet 5 minutes ...
being safe and warm at home.
You get the idea. They don't need to be major achievements (though of course you can include those too) just the everyday things in your life that are good.
You can also look for the opportunities in a particular challenge. The silver lining if you like. Jumping in puddles anyone?
The key here is practice. Seeing the negative comes naturally and we've all been practicing it for years. No wonder we're so good at it. So we need to be kind to ourselves and not expect to be experts at focusing on what is good after one attempt. And just as you wouldn't expect to be able to run a marathon after one jog around the block, the same principles apply. The more we practice, the better we get at it and the easier it becomes. You can even make it a social experience by asking a friend or colleague what has been good about their day.
Stick with it and you'll find you start to see the good, and find joy, almost everywhere. And that can make a big difference - especially during difficult times.
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